I'm going nuts.
There's this void that needs to be filled.
While I have recommitted to training, that training is not even close to fulfilling the needs of my addictive personality.
1 Hour walks just don't cut it.
3x per week at PT for 2 hours doesn't do it for me, either.
Something's gotta tire me out.
Something's gotta get me outside of myself.
I'm turning to the wrong things right now. Gross food. Beer like crazy.
In short, I'm being a slob.
Real, mind-clearing training- the thing that ties my life together- is not there.
I thought I'd be past this mental point..pushing on 3 weeks out from the Triple.
Truth is, my frustration is starting to get worse every day.
I want it so bad and I can't have it.
It's like there's this fire just waiting for the right amount oxygen to turn into a full-blown explosion.
Maybe, this is exactly what I need to take things to the next level.
It's tattooed on my skin.
"Don't waste the fire."
I will not be held down.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Cause and Effect
Took a walk last night. 45 mins.
Kept a cadence of 80-90 on stationary bike for 12 minutes this morning.
I'd say I'm on the comeback trail.
I know that recovery is not linear, so I expect a setback or two over the next few weeks.
Life is good, for the most part.
In setting up my race schedule for the next 2 years, I've come to the realization that I need sponsors, or take the pauper lifestyle to the next level.
I hate asking for money from people. Hate it.
I feel like me asking for money to go race is like someone asking for sponsorship to go to the bar on the weekends. How is it different? Both are recreational activities.
I think I need a cause.
There are times when I think what I do is very selfish. These events are all about me, and I so hate that idea. I've been given the mental and physical ability to do super-distance races.. I should be doing it for good reason.
If I had a cause, I wouldn't feel bad asking for money, and I would be helping a little bit too.
I sure am rambling.
Anyhow, I have the Triple on tap for next year as my "A" Priority race.
However, my grand focus will be the DecaIron in 2011. Only a handful of Americans (under 10) have finished. In case you're wondering, that's 10 Ironmans in 10 days.
Hopefully, I can take what I've learned over the course of this year and apply to injury prevention for the next couple of years and have some good training.
kp
Kept a cadence of 80-90 on stationary bike for 12 minutes this morning.
I'd say I'm on the comeback trail.
I know that recovery is not linear, so I expect a setback or two over the next few weeks.
Life is good, for the most part.
In setting up my race schedule for the next 2 years, I've come to the realization that I need sponsors, or take the pauper lifestyle to the next level.
I hate asking for money from people. Hate it.
I feel like me asking for money to go race is like someone asking for sponsorship to go to the bar on the weekends. How is it different? Both are recreational activities.
I think I need a cause.
There are times when I think what I do is very selfish. These events are all about me, and I so hate that idea. I've been given the mental and physical ability to do super-distance races.. I should be doing it for good reason.
If I had a cause, I wouldn't feel bad asking for money, and I would be helping a little bit too.
I sure am rambling.
Anyhow, I have the Triple on tap for next year as my "A" Priority race.
However, my grand focus will be the DecaIron in 2011. Only a handful of Americans (under 10) have finished. In case you're wondering, that's 10 Ironmans in 10 days.
Hopefully, I can take what I've learned over the course of this year and apply to injury prevention for the next couple of years and have some good training.
kp
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
IT LIVES!
"So Kale, what have you been up to since your drop from the VA Triple?"
Umm.
Let's just say my booze tolerance is going up.
Let's just say my social life is through the roof.
I've been really making an effort to keep myself busy.
The first few nights back in Presque Isle, I came home from work and just sat there, thinking.
Thinking is no good. You think yourself into a deep dark hole.
Remember in Talledega Nights when Ricky Bobby quits Nascar, and in the bar his old assistant gives him this pep talk?
"It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit, thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer. And that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive."
I can draw a parallel to this Ricky Bobby quote.
When I lived in Waynesboro, I got all messed up in the head. Thinking. Alone all the time.
Too much introspection is like holding a mirror in front of a mirror and trying to figure out which reflection is the good one.
My mantra since that time has been..."All I know is Go."
Apply it to life. Apply it to whatever.
Just keep going. Screw everything else. No one can take away your will to keep going.
It's yours.
So I'm starting to Go again.
10 minutes on the bike this morning is a start. Northern Physical Therapy...I cannot say enough for what they've done for me.
I've been given the OK to start swimming a little.
Some who know me are worried as they read this. "It's too soon".
It's not. I'm moving. I'm not going hard. This is the time of year to just chill and have fun.
Nothing serious.
I feel like the Frankenstein that has been put back together. My movement will be slow and ugly at first, but that's cool. Ugly is cool.
I'm alive. And it feels great.
kp
Umm.
Let's just say my booze tolerance is going up.
Let's just say my social life is through the roof.
I've been really making an effort to keep myself busy.
The first few nights back in Presque Isle, I came home from work and just sat there, thinking.
Thinking is no good. You think yourself into a deep dark hole.
Remember in Talledega Nights when Ricky Bobby quits Nascar, and in the bar his old assistant gives him this pep talk?
"It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit, thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer. And that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive."
I can draw a parallel to this Ricky Bobby quote.
When I lived in Waynesboro, I got all messed up in the head. Thinking. Alone all the time.
Too much introspection is like holding a mirror in front of a mirror and trying to figure out which reflection is the good one.
My mantra since that time has been..."All I know is Go."
Apply it to life. Apply it to whatever.
Just keep going. Screw everything else. No one can take away your will to keep going.
It's yours.
So I'm starting to Go again.
10 minutes on the bike this morning is a start. Northern Physical Therapy...I cannot say enough for what they've done for me.
I've been given the OK to start swimming a little.
Some who know me are worried as they read this. "It's too soon".
It's not. I'm moving. I'm not going hard. This is the time of year to just chill and have fun.
Nothing serious.
I feel like the Frankenstein that has been put back together. My movement will be slow and ugly at first, but that's cool. Ugly is cool.
I'm alive. And it feels great.
kp
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