t minus 14

Mixed emotions today.

Today I feel:
Very Nervous.
Stoked.
Stressed.
Excited.
Paranoid.

2 weeks.
My sleep deprivation is pretty much done.
I felt so awful yesterday that I canned it and was in bed by 10:30 last night.
With the hours of work I need to put in the next 2 weeks at Mojo, the chances of actually getting my required rest from now until race day are slim. It's times like these that I wish I was a professional athlete.

On tuesday night I did a 4 hour ride until 2 am, and I had such a strange range of thoughts...
"How do you possibly think you can do this race?"
I'm 26. There's a reason no dude under 31 has finished this.
Then minutes later...
"48 hours is doable!"

No expectations is what I need, but it's in my nature to think I am going to go there and kill it...even if in the back of my head, I know the fitness isn't there.
Well, the fitness is there. The mental might be there.
But I can NOT get caught up in the idea of going fast during the race...especially on the bike.
I'd like to actually be able to RUN a little bit on the run.

I would expect my blog rate to go up during these next 2 weeks. My brain will be racing, and my training volume will be less. I will need some type of outlet.

The hay is in the barn.
And I am preparing my mind to go into some really, really bad places.
14 days.


kp