Wednesday, July 27, 2011

anomaly



anomaly
i walk this earth on two feet
but it feels like, to me, to be
human is weak
the feelings, the pain, you can have just have it
i'll turn myself into a beast
like it's magic
tragic:
to become just a slave to the race
is it you, or is it me
that needs to be
put in their place?

krp

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Rambling



I'm not sure how I need to write this.
Bear with me.

There are a lot of questions and hypothetical scenarios swirling about right now.

For the last 8 months, there has been no real career plan...no LIFE plan.
Only a race plan: Deca 2011. All else: secondary.

Plane tickets for Mexico were paid for by Katherine, whom I was coaching.
All I needed was my entry fee, which I could have easily had paid for.

A few weeks ago, my plan was flipped totally upside down when I came from the woods: Mexico was cancelled.

There would be a new race in Italy, 1 month prior to the scheduled Mexico race, but my tickets would not be transferrable.

I set about looking for options, but my being in the mountains for 10 days at a time, with only 3 full days off, would be a large hinderance. Who could sponsor me? How could I raise this money? The budget would total more than $5,000 just to cover the most basic arrangements- not including food, or flying my bike, or other unforeseen expenses.

The hard truth is that I cannot get this together in the next 2 months, having only 6 full days off per month...the other 24-25 being away from any and all technology. Doing the math, I only have 9 days to get this together before I would have to think about leaving for Italy.
Who could have predicted my life choices, always passion-motivated, would virtually kill my chances of racing a Deca in 2011?

That was not easy to write, as I have only hinted around it to my parents and a few others.

Could this last-minute cancellation of Mexico be some kind of divine intervention?
Kale, get your life together.
Kale, these efforts are selfish. Get a cause.
Kale, get a career.
Kale, get some more racing under your belt first.
Kale, you're going to be 30 next year.
Kale, use your scorn as fire for next year, a la Triple DNF=Quintuple Finish.

Do I want to go another winter in a job I absolutely hate, or do I look for a compromise...a job with benefits that I can deal with year-round?
As you can see, there are a lot of things going on in my head, and this is why I maybe need to take some time and focus up after this summer of fun in the mountains.

The temporary closing of 1 door opens many others for the fall.
I'll go back to Virginia, and finish the Triple. Get back to my running roots and try to improve my times in ultras.
Not a step back, but a lateral step, to become a faster, tougher Ultra triathlete for 2012, where the Deca will be a priority.

I REALLY want to thank those that have believed in me all along, and supported me mentally or financially.
This is not an easy thing to deal with, having looked forward to it since the second I crossed the 5x finish line, but I take solace in the fact that every down has an upswing, and I ALWAYS make sure the upswing is equal or greater.

Part of me is still waiting on a miracle to come through, but I have to also look at reality.
The miracle-hoping side of me is the same side of me that just assumed sponsors would come flocking to me by the dozens after my Quintuple finish, which they did not.
Still considered very young for these distances, I plan on some pretty big things in the next 10 years.
The only thing I can do is keep putting notches in my belt, and more importantly to me now than ever: inspire and help people in the years to come.

"New life, in place of, old life....unscarred by trials" Pantera

krp

Thursday, June 30, 2011


simplicity: impossible
a carrot over my head

never to be reached?

escape to the high peaks
only to find a valley

time out
morphs into
a time out

"think about what you've done"
sitting on rocks, basking in the sun
no distraction

but, for once
i could use one.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Inspirations Series: Part 1- Bruce Bell

It was my first week of middle school.

Things were....odd.
If this was to be expected, I sure didn't know it.

A lot of things had changed since I "graduated" from 6th grade.
I had gone from confident kid with buck-teeth to lanky, ugly, insecure 7th grader, in 3 months flat.

This also happened to be the only September in my short career as a student that I wasn't signed up for a sport.
I spent most of my childhood fall months running around like a chicken with my head cut off on a soccer field, and even caved to peer pressure the autumn of 6th grade and signed up for football. If I was no good at soccer, you can only imagine what football did to my psyche.

My only grade school redemption: Gym Class and the 1 mile run.
I couldn't hit. I couldn't catch.
Tackle? Ha.
I could, however, put one foot in front of the other faster than almost anyone else in school.

So here I was, September of 1995, teetering on the precipice of anonymity. Perhaps even worse as a 12 or 13 year old- I had no clique. I needed....something. I just wasn't sure what that something might've been.

It was mid-week, at the end of the day. I departed my last class, and began the journey up the stairwell to my homeroom, from which we extracurricular-less students would be put on a bus and destined for home.

A middle-aged guy in glasses, shamrock-colored polyester pants, a white shirt, and matching green tie passed me. I had seen him once before, but couldn't remember where. All I knew was that he was the Wood Shop teacher and Cross Country/Track and Field coach: Bruce Bell.
I had never previously thought about running Cross Country, so I surprised myself when I stopped him on an impulse and asked if I could run this fall. He smiled, shook my hand, and told me to come to the meeting next week.

The meeting blew my mind.
I remember sitting in his Wood Shop classroom, him lecturing about running, practice, and interspersing life philosophy all at the same time. What really hit me: he was talking to us like adults. This was something none of my teachers had done yet.
As an early teen, all you hear is,"do this or else".
This "real talk" was captivating. You wanted to attract his attention just so you could feel like an adult in talking with him.

Bell did things that no teacher could get away with nowadays.
He swore. He flirted with women. He was famous for cracking jokes about how he pissed his wife off while doing some home improvements the night or weekend before- think Tim the Toolman. There was nothing creepy at all about it; his personality was extremely non-threatening, and everything came across in good fun.
He'd bring a duffel bag full of pills and athletic supplements to work with him every day, and on occasion, with a note from a parent, would give his young athletes zinc or vitamin c tabs.

Bell was an anomaly in the middle school teaching arena. The longer you knew him and his eccentricities, the more his legend seemed to grow.
There were rumors that he would run from his house in Augusta to school in Turner, then at the end of the day, run home.
He could do more pushups and core exercises than any of us, and sometimes egged us on jokingly as we were laying on the grass trying to keep up with him.

He'd make us drink "ultra fuel" before each race. I remember him pulling one of us aside every week, and giving us 5 bucks and telling us to go to the juice machine in the cafeteria, where we were instructed to buy as much of every type of juice as the 5 dollars would allow. No one really knew what exactly was in those 5 gallon Gatorade drums, but it was a crazy mixture of powders and a plethora of juices.

In the classes that he taught and even before every practice, he might skip the intended subject matter altogether and instead go on tangents about life lessons. While it may not have been to the school's liking, a lot of kids who may not have had guidance at home(or from the guidance counselor, for that matter), received it from him. I know of kids who stayed eligible for sports, and not just in cross country, because of his foot up their ass when their grades were in danger.
If a kid didn't have money for dinner on the way home from a race, he wouldn't even blink before handing over cash.

Bell would tell you exactly what he thought, and if that included swearing at you during a race or in school, so be it.
If you acted like a drama-kid, he would promptly tell you to cut the shit.

I had zero running form as a kid. If I had a dime for every time he yelled at me from across the field," GOD DAMN IT KALE, STOP HUNCHING OVER. RUN TALL!", I'd be counting stacks of money instead of writing this. I still run races and think of how I need to get my hips under me. Thanks, Bell.

Before every race from middle school to high school, he'd have all of us get on the school bus, where he'd play out the expected scenarios of each race. He would tell us what he wanted all of us to accomplish, making eye contact and singling each one of us out, laying out his expectations for every individual, and for everyone else to hear. We each had a goal, and we were all there to help each other with it.
We'd step off that bus every time in the minutes before the race, in a fury and ready to burn up the course.

If we failed and tried hard, there was never sympathy. If you were particularly hard on yourself, he would tell you to suck it up and that you'd get 'em next week.
If we failed because we didn't put in our best effort, the next week of practice was miserable, and he made it known why.
It set us straight.

In a world quickly blossoming to a place where no one was responsible for their own actions, Bell made every effort to mold us into upstanding citizens on and off the course. Nowadays, the number of educators and coaches like him is unfortunately few. New societal standards make it hard for a teacher or coach to step in and do or say the things he did. While we can't create people like Bruce, we can definitely be thankful for the ones that are.

thanks for reading.
krp

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

To The Point




It's been brought to my attention that this blog has been ignored for about 2 months.
That hasn't happened in a very, very long time.

I guess it's because I'm doing a lot less talking this year, and a lot more doing.
I cannot deny that something is different this year.
My body is tougher post-Quintuple.
It's as though I found a new pain reference, and it increased my tolerance exponentially.

My mind has also transformed, and not just in reference to pain tolerance. I've spent the better part of the last 5 years analyzing what path my life was taking. Now, I'm accepting and embracing that this IS my life. It's who I want to be, even if it doesn't exactly pay the bills yet. For now, I am just going to target the hardest races in the world, do them, and what happens, happens.

So yeah, been training hard, and trying to figure out ultimately just how far I can take this... and how I can make that financially happen.

I'm at a point right now where my body can take anything I give it. I've done more long bike rides pushing big wattage than I can count already, and my running is very solid.
Swimming I haven't focused on yet, but my upper body is developing just fine from my job lifting boxes up and down all day. I am not concerned about the swim.

Next weekend, I will do a Double Iron, alone. I'll have some family and friends there throughout the weekend, but will largely be solo for 4.8 miles of swimming, 224 miles of biking, and 52 miles of running. Come on out: I should be on Pleasant Pond Road from about noon on Saturday through Sunday Morning.
It'll be an appropriate test for things to come later this year, for sure.

Thanks for tuning in!
Kale

Monday, March 7, 2011

Clarity Day 2011

I've been blogging a lot less lately.

Maybe it's because I've been in this funk the last month or so.
It always comes this time of year for me. It's the time of year where it feels like winter has run its course, but is still very much here.
The pull of tights-less runs, warm sun, and longer days is very real.
So real, in fact, that waking up to snow falling from the sky and 15 degree nights bring about despair.

The good news is knowing the time change is coming, and that a month from now, warmer temperatures will be a reality.

Winter can be tough on my training regimen, but there is always a day that I can pinpoint every March that my training took a turn for the serious.
It usually is brought about by a workout where I know I've turned a corner on a physical and mental level simultaneously.

That day was yesterday.

Thankfully, because even though in the back of my head I know that day will come, I spend most of every february wondering when. Until that day comes, I am in a complete mental fog.

Soon, the crazy stuff will be the regular, and my mind will be crystal clear.
Training heavily gives me plenty of time to sort out the whats, whys, and hows of my life.
Bring on summer.

krp

Thursday, February 10, 2011

bring it



i crouch at a squat

laughing
negatives on my back
pour it on
so i can use it

whatever is not said
i put words in their mouth
assuming
creating my own fuel

photosynthesize my own enemies
and harvest my own power

a famine never exists
even though i am
always hungry

bring it.